The short answer: Owners and leaders end up stretched thin when the challenge of running their business or not-for-profit grows faster than their skills. Challenge and skill out of balance means stress. In balance means flow, and better performance. Working harder doesn’t close that gap. Building around what you do best does: resolve what’s pressing, get clear on where you add the most value, then shape the skills, team and systems around it.
Since 1990 I’ve worked alongside hundreds of owners and leaders.
The pressure they describe is real.
Cash is tight and cashflow is erratic.
The team is stretched.
Decisions keep getting put off.
Too much rests on too few shoulders.
Recent Australian research shows how widespread it is:
77% of regional small business owners experienced stress or anxiety because of their business in the past year, and 62% have felt overwhelmed by their responsibilities and workload (COSBOA and CommBank, Small Business Perspectives Report 2026, 572 regional small businesses).
31% of small business owners have considered giving up their business because of stress, and 38% describe their stress as very or extremely severe (Xero, Emotional Tax Return report, 2026, 500 owners and senior decision-makers).
More than two-thirds of not-for-profit board members and leaders have considered stepping down because of stress or overwhelm. (Community Directors, 2025 Australian Community Boards Wellbeing Report, 575 respondents).
Numbers like that don’t describe a few people who can’t cope. They describe a pattern.
What surprises most owners and leaders is the reason behind it.
It’s rarely a lack of effort.
And it’s never a lack of ability.
It’s nearly always a gap between what their growing enterprise now asks of them and what anyone ever prepared them for.
Why do owners and leaders end up stretched thin?
Most owners and leaders step into the top job because they’re good at the work itself.
As the business or organisation grows, the job changes.
It starts asking them to manage, plan and lead as well, often all at once.
Few people are ever trained for that shift, but it has been studied for decades.
Two bodies of research explain why it causes so much stress:
Gerber’s three roles: The E-Myth
Michael Gerber’s The E-Myth (1986), expanded as The E-Myth Revisited (1995), showed that most enterprises are run by people who are good at the technical work. Builders, accountants, manufacturers, teachers.
He described three roles every enterprise needs:
• The Technician who does the work.
• The Manager who organises the work and keeps things running.
• The Entrepreneur who looks ahead and shapes where the enterprise is going.
Most owners and leaders start strong in one role, usually the first, and end up covering all three.
Not-for-profits are no different. A school principal is usually a teacher who ended up managing, and now has to learn entrepreneurial skills on the job. A charity CEO has often come up through the ranks, so started as a technician too.
Gerber named the pattern.
He didn’t fully explain why it produces so much stress.
That came from a different field.
Csikszentmihalyi’s challenge-skill balance: flow
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi spent four decades at the University of Chicago and Claremont Graduate University studying people at their best. His central finding, published in Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience (1990), is that peak performance depends on a balance between the challenge in front of a person and the skill they bring to it.
• Challenge and skill in balance: flow. Focused, engaged, sharp decisions, work that feels good.
• Challenge well above skill: anxiety. Decisions turn defensive and short-term.
• Skill well above challenge: boredom. Energy drains away.
In Good Business (2003) he showed the same conditions apply to people leading organisations, not just athletes and artists.
Where the two meet
Put Gerber and Csikszentmihalyi together and the pattern makes sense.
When an owner or leader is stretched across roles that demand skills they don’t have yet, the challenge-skill gap opens. Decision quality drops. The symptoms everyone notices follow: cashflow pressure, team friction, stalled growth, long hours.
If you’re in that gap now, you’ll know how it feels.
There’s more to do than you can possibly get done, and your attention splits across all of it. Nothing gets your best thinking, so the decisions that matter most are the ones that end up waiting.
That’s why working harder rarely fixes it. More effort on the symptom holds for a while, then comes undone.
I saw that play out early in my career. I watched owners and leaders work harder and harder to keep up, and too many of their businesses and organisations didn’t survive it.
At the time, I couldn’t see why. A few years later, at a surf training camp, the conversation turned to flow and the challenge-skill balance. That’s when it clicked. The stress and overwhelm weren’t personal failings. They were structural. I’ve built my work around that idea ever since.
It’s also where the name Stoked comes from. Surfers use the word for the feeling after a good session, when their skill matched the conditions.
What does “stoked” mean?
Stoked is how it feels when you’re in the role that suits you, with the challenge and your skills in balance.
You’re performing well and enjoying your work, and your life, again.
It isn’t hype or excitement.
It’s a steady, capable feeling, and it shows up in the results: better decisions, steadier cashflow, and a business or organisation that thrives.
It also builds on itself.
Csikszentmihalyi found that people who come out of flow feel more capable than they went in. Each stretch you meet with the right skill becomes the base for the next one.
How do you get back to doing what you do best?
Not by working harder. By closing the gap between the challenge and your skills, and building around what you do best.
In practice it runs in four steps:
1. Resolve What Matters Most: Start with the creating the most pressure: cashflow, profit, people, governance, competing priorities. That creates breathing room. On their own, these fixes won’t hold. They buy the time to restore the challenge-skill balance.
2. Understand What Works Best: While working through the urgent and pressing issues, get clear on what you’re best at, where you add the most value, what to delegate and what level of challenge brings out your best.
3. Shape The Path Forward: Build a practical path around that: the skills to grow, the people to bring in, the systems and resources to put in place. Not a plan that looks good on paper. A path that works in practice.
4. Support Implementation: Keep it moving with ongoing advice and accountability, adjusting as things change and your skills grow.
There are two good outcomes.
Some owners and leaders want to grow into a bigger role.
Others want to build the right team around what they do best.
Both work, and Csikszentmihalyi’s research shows why.
You can close the gap by building the skill to meet the challenge, or by reshaping the challenge to fit the skill. Often it takes some of both.
The key is finding the mix that fits you and your enterprise.
Signs you might be stretched thin:
• Decisions wait for you, and the big ones keep getting put off.
• Cash is tight even though the work is there.
• You can’t switch off, even on holidays.
• You spend more time on work that drains you and less on what you really enjoy and do best.
• Fixes you’ve tried hold for a while, then slip back.
If a few of those ring true, treat it as commercial information, not personal weakness.
It’s a sign the challenge has outgrown your current skills.
The fix isn’t heroics.
It’s building around what you do best.
Frequently asked questions
What are the three roles in The E-Myth?
Michael Gerber describes the Technician, who does the work; the Manager, who organises it and keeps it running; and the Entrepreneur, who sets direction and shapes the future. Most owners and leaders start as Technicians and end up covering all three. That stretch is where much of the stress comes from.
What is the challenge-skill balance?
It’s psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s finding that people perform best when the challenge in front of them matches their skill. Too much challenge brings anxiety and poorer decisions. Too little brings boredom. When the two are in balance, people reach flow: focused, effective and enjoying the work.
Is feeling stretched a sign I’m not cut out to lead?
No. It usually means the enterprise has grown faster than your skills have had the chance to. The research points to a structural gap, not a personal failing. Gaps close by building skills, bringing in the right people, or both.
Does this apply to not-for-profit leaders?
Yes. Principals, CEOs and board members face the same three roles and the same gap, often with fewer resources. Australian research found more than two-thirds of not-for-profit board members and leaders have considered stepping down because of stress or overwhelm.
How is a strategic advisor different from an accountant?
An accountant reports the numbers and keeps you compliant. A strategic advisor works with you on what to do next: the decisions, the direction, the people and the path forward, using the numbers as one input. Most owners and leaders need both.
How long before things feel different?
Most clients feel the change within weeks. Measurable gains typically compound across a 90-day cycle, because the first step resolves what’s creating the most pressure.
How does working with Stoked Strategic Solutions start?
With a free 45-minute conversation, by virtual meeting or call. We work through what’s pressing, what’s behind it and how the load is sitting with you. You leave with a fresh perspective and an experienced view on what to do next.
It starts with a conversation.
Not a report. Not a plan that sits in a drawer.
In 45 minutes, we’ll work through what’s pressing, what’s behind it, and how the load is sitting with you. You’ll leave with a fresh perspective and an experienced view on what to do next.
Book a conversation with Dean.
References
Community Directors. (2025). 2025 Australian Community Boards Wellbeing Report. Institute of Community Directors Australia.
COSBOA & Commonwealth Bank. (2026). Small Business Perspectives Report 2026: Regional Voices. Council of Small Business Organisations Australia.
Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1990). Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. Harper & Row.
Csikszentmihalyi, M. (2003). Good Business: Leadership, Flow, and the Making of Meaning. Viking.
Gerber, M. E. (1986). The E-Myth: Why Most Small Businesses Don’t Work and What to Do About It. Harper Business.
Gerber, M. E. (1995). The E-Myth Revisited: Why Most Small Businesses Don’t Work and What to Do About It. HarperCollins.
Xero. (2026). Emotional Tax Return report [Media release, 28 May 2026].